Family Ties

I hope you're all prepared to be smooshed by gooey talk. 

Okay, I'm only kidding, don't freak out. Today I want to talk about families, and why they're so important. 

Firstly, you should know I write my blogs based on whatever's really stood out for me throughout the week. This week, it's family. Yep. I can't say it's all been wonderful, but it's usually when things go wrong that you realise how important it is. Let me explain this: you only know what you've got when it's gone, right? It's the same with family. If you have a fight with a parent, sibling/cousin etc., you realise how much better it is to be at peace with those people. 

Let's face it: half the time you wonder if your family is only there to drive you crazy. And it's true. They do drive you crazy, and that's not going to change just because you're getting older (spoiler alert). Basically, there's no point wishing they would change just because time has passed. The beauty of family is that they find new ways to drive you up the walls. When you're five, your siblings drive you mad by stealing your toys. When you're twelve, you get grounded and treated like you're still eight. You make it to sixteen, thinking Of course they'll take me seriously. You get a lovely surprise on the other end of that one, but I won't spoil a second hope on the same blog. 

Don't be fooled though: adulthood doesn't stop it from happening. The point is, your family can drive you crazy your whole life long. But you're probably doing it to them, too, so please don't go around acting like a victim around them. They're not bad people, they just know you too well, and vice versa. There is a bright side to all of this; please bear with me! I need to cover the crappy bits first.

I can promise that no one else you come across in life will fight you, bully you, hurt you, forgive you and look after you the way your family will. Sure, they're the most frustrating human beings in your life, but they're also the only people who will be there for you when no one else is. Wrap all of that into a big ball of DNA sequences, and you have unconditional love. I grew up with seven siblings, and we all took our turn doing stupid things that friends would've given up on us for. But our parents never did. And that's the difference between friends and family. Don't get me wrong: I have some truly amazing friends that I would not trade for the world, and I'm not saying that you can't have great, supportive friends. Hell yes, you can. I do, too. However, if we put things into retrospect, the majority of your friends would not put up with and forgive half of the crap your family does. Feel free to disagree; I'm just speaking from my own experience.

Another big thing about family is that they have your back. Every time one of my siblings had some weird or ridiculous-sounding expedition or task to do, we all had to help. Even when it meant giving up my entire Saturday, I got into it and helped them out. Why? Not because I love carrying bricks around for my dad, or standing in the heat of the midday sun to rake the leaves. Of course I have better, more interesting things to do. But I know, with a certainty as strong as oxygen, that when I need help with something, they will do the same for me. Again, I'm not putting friends down, but they usually don't stick around for all of your boring plights the way your family will. There's nothing more supportive than that, people.

The sad truth is, these days a lot of families are torn, broken or disconnected, and they miss out on that support system a family provides. That's why it's so important to appreciate them now. Your mother isn't telling you not to go to that party because she wants you to suffocate in the house. And your dad isn't rejecting that boy/girl you want to go out with because he wants you to die alone with fifteen cats. You should remember that your parents have walked the road before you, and they probably know what they're talking about when they tell you something isn't good for you. If you saw your best friend walking into a trap, you'd stop them, right? Your parents are just doing the same thing. They love you, and you don't let someone you love walk into things that will hurt them later on. 

At the end of the day, you won't always understand why your family (including extended family) does or says the things they do. But one day, when you're wiser and older, you'll know it was for your own protection; even if that's not the outcome you got. As bad as it sounds, your family are the only people you can trust will always want the best for you. And if you feel punished because your parents are disciplining you, just remember that they want you to be the best person you possibly can. 

When I was six, I was eating lunch with my family one day. Being curious and immature, I decided to stick my finger into the tub of margarine and scoop out a lump. My dad saw me do it, and immediately ordered me to eat it. I protested, but he won in the end. I never forgot the horrible taste of plain margarine down my throat. I thought he was trying to torture me; when in reality, he was teaching me a valuable lesson. Every time I even though of wasting food since then, I stopped myself, remembering the margarine. What's my point? At the time, it can seem like your family wants to treat you badly to punish you. The truth is, I wouldn't take that lesson back for the world. You learn the most valuable lessons through the worst of times. Sure, that wasn't necessarily the worst of times, but when you're six, it sure does feel like it.

After having a wonderful weekend with my family, I was reminded of the warm, loving feeling you get from no one else. My best memories were made with them, and I wouldn't trade them for anything else. That's why it's so important to appreciate your family. They won't be around forever, and there's no better time than right now. Sure, my dad and I don't always see eye to eye on everything, but he's been at every award's night and special school assembly to support my achievements. I fight with my sister almost daily, but she's the best friend I have. I get lost in translation with my mother all the time, but I don't know anyone who would sacrifice as much as she has for me. And I know for a fact, that everyone has a family -- big or small, one parent or two -- that they can be thankful for.

You don't need to have a perfect family to be a happy one. In fact, I don't know anyone who does have a perfect family; and I don't believe they exist anyway. Just know that they've got you when nobody else does. Surely, that has to be enough to get you through the rest.

Making the Most of Now

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" - Teddy Roosevelt.

I, for one, can say this has been hugely affecting me recently. I always talk about making the most of now, and living in the moment. But if I'm honest, I'm only getting better at procrastinating; and it's so frustrating. I waste all this time on useless nothings, and then spend even more time regretting all the things I should've done that are now way behind schedule. The biggest downer is, you are the only one responsible, the only one getting frustrated, and the only one who has the power to change it. 

The funny thing about me is, I have told myself so many times that my brain only works at night. So I waste the day away (if I'm home), mauling over all the things I should be doing that I'm not. Then I try to console myself with the pathetic "my-brain-only-works-at-night" mantra I use to make sense of it all, when in reality, I should actually be getting off my butt and putting some work into more productive things. 
I don't expect that you will be using the same excuse to procrastinate, but we all make excuses for why we put things off.
Don't deny it. 

I know it's also very easy to fall into denial about the whole excuse thing; and people will swear that it's not an 'excuse', but a 'reason'. The truth is, if you're not serious enough about something to admit that you're making excuses, you'll never get it done. This blog may sound a lot like tough love, but I'm talking to myself here, too. We all do it. We make excuses and put things off until the very last minute, because it's the only time your brain works that fast. I get it; I really do.

The truth is, life only gets harder as you get older. What I mean is, in primary/elementary, you have a bunch of teachers checking your homework every week, and making sure you're on-track. You go to high school, and again, you have teachers, peers and parents all prodding you about your homework, assignments and study sessions. They all want to know how much you're putting into it. But once you get to University/Tafe/College, nobody cares anymore. Whether you fail or not, your tutors will still get payed.

Don't misunderstand me -- they're happy to help if you chase them up, but no one looks after you to make sure you're up-to-date with it all. It's your job to seek help once you're out of school. So it's really important that you learn to take control of your priorities while you're still surrounded by support. I got really independent in 11th & 12th grade, and I still struggle to motivate myself sometimes now. It's tough. You're on your own in the big, bad world, trying to figure out who you are and what you want. The point I'm getting at is that it's normal to feel a bit lost and generally confused. You're held by the hand for twelve years, then dropped into the deep end. It's hard, I know.

But if you remember the 15-year-old version of yourself, who believed in their dreams and vowed to let nothing get in the way of them, then you need to understand this is the exact point where you need to fight for those dreams the hardest. It's when you least want to do things that you need to try your hardest to do them. Why? Because only the fittest make it to the top of the food chain, and this means you need to learn to adapt to your environment, which includes self-motivation. Regardless of how hopeless and far away your dreams seem, you need to know that they can be achieved. They can. 

The main reason so many people never achieve their goals, is because they try for a little while and fade out down the line. They realise how hard it is and decide it's too much for them. I can't say I've achieved all of my goals, because I'm still learning and growing, but I know for sure, that everything I have managed to achieve, did not come easily. Achievements would not be achievements if they were easy to obtain. Everyone would be successful if that was the case. The sad truth about being successful is that it's an often lonely road. It's really hard to hold on, because you won't see results until your blood, sweat and tears have earned them; and you have no one to push you but yourself. Everyone else is occupied with their own goals.

I also think the whole "Making the Most of Now" concept has been classified under the YOLO category, and left there. Making the most of now applies to every area of your life, not just the fun, adventurous parts. No matter who you are and where in the world you live, you can make the most of everything you have in every moment, even if you feel like you have nothing. Some of the most successful people in the world came from nothing, so don't let that excuse you from what we're talking about. Absolutely everyone can take a leaf from this blog and apply it to their lives. It doesn't matter if you're not at the same level as the people around you, or if you're not where you hoped you'd be. What matters is that you just keep swimming! Snails are slow, but they still get places. What's my point? Just because you can't see it now, doesn't mean it won't happen. The catch, of course, is that you don't stop, especially when it's the hardest. The only walls that stop you from achieving what you want, are the ones you build yourself.

So forget where you are and who's beating you. I'll tell you quite harshly (and honestly), that someone will always be better than you at whatever you do. That's not the point. The best thing you can do for yourself in life, is to make the best you can out of whatever you have in each and every moment. If any of you ever had to make things out of piles of rubbish in primary school, you'll see my point. The teacher gives you a bunch of empty boxes, bottle caps, pipe cleaners and milk cartons, telling you to make something out of it. You look at the items at first thinking it's not going to amount to much. But as your robot/airplane/alien/whatever starts to take shape, you get really into it, and you realise you could make something awesome. By the time you finish, you have a ridiculous smile plastered ear-to-ear across your little face, and you feel an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. You think, Wow, I made this!

The idea is using what you have to make the best out of it, even if all you have is a pile of useless items. It's creating something unique with these things that makes the difference, rather than the quality of what you have. We don't all have the best resources available to us, but if we make the most of what we have right now, we can create something really unique. There's nothing more valuable than time, and we all have the same amount of it in every day. Procrastination is time's worst enemy, and it doesn't want you to do anything great. It wants to hold you back and see you throw in the towel. You can't let it win. Life is far too short and your dreams too important. You don't know when you'll run out of this precious resource, so it's up to you, and only you, to spend it wisely. Make the most of now.

Don't forget to like the official Facebook page at www.facebook.com/bettieteesblogspot for weekly updates etc., if you haven't already.

The Genius In You

How smart are you?

It’s a question we all feel the pressure to prove our value for. Every test you sit, every exam you write, every show you perform, and every speech you present carries this hidden question. It’s a question you never see on the paper, but you feel it by the butterflies in your stomach, the sweat on your palms and the quiver in your voice. And it’s really daunting. Throughout school, college/TAFE/University, you put all your energy into writing dozens of assignments to prove how smart you are. You’re conditioned to think – no, believe – if you don’t get great scores on your finals, and graduate with a good OP/GPA, you won’t have as good a future as the “nerds” in your class. You’re taught if you don’t take the hardest science and maths classes, you’re not really a genius like they are. So you limit yourself to average standards because you don’t understand calculus and chemistry. If you ask me, I think it’s ridiculous.

I spent over half my schooling life thinking the same thing. I always thought I wasn’t smart enough, because I didn’t catch onto algebra as quickly as the ‘smart kids’. Then I finally realised it wasn’t the case at all. Let me make something very clear: just because you can’t do what society tells you ‘smart people’ can do, does not mean you aren’t smart, too. And don’t get me wrong, if you’re one of those math geniuses I’m referring to, you should be proud of what your brain can do. I totally respect that ability. I just don’t think the rest of us should be dumbed down because our brains work differently.

The fact is, if you’re better at English and arty stuff than maths and science, it just means your brain works differently. The left side of the brain is what you use when you solve mathematical problems, and all your logical thought processing. The right side of your brain is where your creativity and artistic flair is produced. You can train both sides of your brain, but one will always be stronger than the other. So if you’re at the stage where you’ve realised you’re pretty bad at Art but you kick ass in Physics, you’re probably a Left-brainer.

And there’s nothing wrong with being stronger either way. In fact, if we weren’t, the world wouldn’t have all the things it does. It would either be full of art or full of architecture. They’re both great, but could you imagine if one or the other were missing? Life would simply be incomplete. That’s why it’s so important to remember that, no matter who you are or what you’re good at, you shouldn’t compare yourself to other people’s strengths. In fact, everyone should celebrate the diversity of talents other people have to offer the world. Everyone is good at different things, and we need all of the world’s wonderful brains to make it complete.

So forget what people tell you, because some of the most successful people to ever live were once told they would never amount to anything. Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for “lacking imagination,” and Michael Jordan was kicked out of his high school basketball team. If they had let that stop them, they wouldn’t have achieved the things they did. Need I say more? You can’t let what other people say determine your ability, your intelligence, and most of all, your amazing potential for success, whatever the word means to you.

Let me tell you something: you are good enough. You’re good enough because God made you exactly the way He saw perfect, and gave you everything you need to make the most of the genius you possess, regardless of the form it comes in. I’ll tell you right now, I couldn’t have passed Maths B in grade 11 to save my life, but I always knew I was great at English, so I worked my ass off and topped the subject for five years straight.

What am I saying? Find what you’re good at, and what you really love to do, and become excellent at it. Talents are like muscles: everyone has them, but you need to exercise them to make them stronger. And let’s face it, this day and age won’t promote you to excellence unless you put in the time. There are too many people on the planet.

It’s one of my biggest dreams to see the world embrace everyone’s genius, because we all have it in us. But just as Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” We need to quit judging people by their math grades and science certificates. Maths is not the only way to be a genius. We should be teaching students to use what they already have, instead of trying to force their brains at something else. If you were meant to be someone else, you would’ve been someone else. It’s really that simple. Life goes far too quickly to waste trying to do something you hate, when you could be the next Einstein at the thing you’re already great at. A life worth living is a life worth loving. 

Dream Killers of the 21st Century

Hello everyone, my name is Betina and I'm an app-aholic.

Apps.

If I could sum my biggest time-wasters up into one word, that would be it. And if any of you have an i-device, or know someone who does, you'll know what I mean. And don't think you're exclusive if you're not with Apple, because I know for a fact that Samsung and Nokia have jumped on the app-wagon, too. Angry Birds, anyone? 

No one is safe... O.o

Apps are the sickeningly wonderful inventions of tech-savvy people with too much time on their hands, who are clearly out to ruin your life. So they put their brains together and invent these impossibly addictive apps that chew up all your time and focus. Worst part is, they sell them to you like you need them. You wonder what you ever did before this eclectic wonder graced the face of the planet. And of course, one turns into one hundred, because once you’re sucked into it, you decide you’re not really living until you’ve explored every app that could have anything to do with your entertainment, social and work life.

Before you know it, they’ve taken over your life. You can’t do anything without checking if there’s an app for it. You go to the gym, oh wait, there’s an app for that. You want to play a new game, there’s an app for that. You forgot where you parked your car last night; do not fear, for there is an app to find it for you. You need someone to talk to; there sure as hell is an app for that, too.

It physically puts me into a panic when I look at the clock and realise three hours have passed and I'm still playing Candy Crush. It's an epidemic. I literally didn’t have the game for more than a fortnight before I started to see it everywhere. Suddenly, my siblings, friends, and a bunch of randoms on the bus are all playing Candy Crush.

Let’s face it: apps are highly addictive and totally unhealthy. Staring at an iPad screen for hours on end cannot possibly be beneficial for your eyes. Neither is missing out on life to play the latest version of Temple Run. You fall asleep playing these ridiculously over-repetitive games, and you don’t get out of bed in the morning before you’ve played a round. I mean, seriously, forget the zombie apocalypse. It’s apps that are killing our brain cells.

What’s so unbelievably ludicrous about apps is, you’re addicted even though you never get any satisfaction or reward from using them. Think about this: if you win the next level of Angry Birds, do you actually get anything out of it? Is getting a new high score in Sudoku going to help your career? Does it add anything to your life if you have 5 different photo shop apps? Are you going to help end world hunger or cure diseases by knowing how many calories are in your breakfast every day?

The ugly side of technological advances is this: they distract you from the things that will actually help you get somewhere with your life. They waste time you don’t have, so you compromise on everything else. That’s what addictions do, and just because these ones are decorated in bright colours and fancy features, doesn’t mean they aren’t just as bad as the others. Look, I’m not saying you should delete all your apps and sit at your desk studying all day and never do anything fun. Even if that were the case, I could not possibly succeed at winning it.

The idea is that life needs to be balanced. Everything needs to be done in moderation, or it will do more damage than good. Apps are no different. Of course you should enjoy them; that’s why they exist. But you don’t want to look back at your life in 30 years regretting all the things you didn’t do because you were distracted. There are a multitude of ways the world distracts you from achieving important things, and if you don’t learn how to manage your time between ‘fun’ and ‘priorities’, you’ll always let the ‘fun’ out rule everything else. I’ve been there, and it’s no way to get by. It destroys your plans, and pushes your dreams further each time you make another compromise for these distractions.

What I mean is, there’s a time and place for everything, which is why it’s important to prioritise. You only get one shot at living, and you need to make the most of it. You don’t want to get to the end of your life only to come to the realization that you didn’t do everything you wanted to. Play your apps, count your calories, but don’t let them rule you.

At the end of the day, if you don’t take control of what you have, then what you have will end up controlling you. You’re probably thinking, far out, Betina, it’s not that extreme. They’re just apps. Everyone has them.

Of course they do! I do too. But I’ve seen the ugly side of app addiction, and it killed so much time I could’ve spent on more productive exploits. It all comes back to regret, and there aren’t many things in life that are worse than regret. All I’m saying is, no app - no matter how amazing it is – will be worth the time you lose now, in ten years’ time when you didn’t do what you knew you could’ve, would’ve, should’ve done. Don’t wait until then, evaluate your priorities now.

Thank you for reading this week's blog. Hope you all enjoyed it! Don't forget to like the official page at www.facebook.com/bettieteesblogspot for weekly posts, inspirational pics & updates.

Bettie.